“All we do is drink and terrible things happen and it’s just getting worse.” – Motto Of Appa Kappa Dappa fighting sobriety since 2006.
We are a drinking Fraternity born out of a general disdain for Frat’s and the Bro’s that inhabit them. So we started our own to mock real Frat’s and we dedicated Appa Kappa Dappa to drinking, excess, and the ridiculous.
We do not discriminate and all are welcome to join. The only requirement of membership is you have to drink with the founding members who still run the group today. Doom Lord Eric Jackson and Drunk Delegate Steve Coupe.Membership is and always will be free.
The Dred Pirate McKill-Joy the Drunk by Ryan Ferruzza
Our history is simple the Dread Pirate McKill-Joy the Drunk was tooling around in his pirate ship, with his pirate crew, looking for pirate booty. They dock at a port with a brewery. The beer isn’t ready and it’s still a field of unripe hops. The Dred Pirate McKill-Joy the Drunk was as nasty as a nasty badass can be so he commanded the field of hops to become beer and it was so. The hops fermented and liquefied becoming a massive lake of beer.
He sat to work swimming to the bottom and drinking the lake. After hours of drinking with no end in sight the Dread Pirate McKill-Joy the Drunk reached a point of drunkenness never seen before. He time traveled back to ancient Greece completely disoriented he attacked Greek Soldiers and used their helmets to fashion the first can.
The Beer Gods took note of this and came to Earth in their true form. The Surfer, Drunk Girl at Party, and the tiny wise one (who looks exactly like the statue inside Sweet Water Tavern). The Dread Pirate McKill-Joy the Drunk recognized them right away and waited for them to act. The fallen Greeks who remained alive writhed in pain until the Beer Gods lifted their glasses and let them fall into a sweet beer coma. Impressed by his ability to drink they made him their avatar and asked him to pick a title. He claimed himself to be Doom Lord and in an attempt to say something he slurred, “Appa Kappa Dappa.” The Beer God proclaimed it to be true. He would carry on their message.
Thus Appa Kappa Dappa was born and it’s first Doom Lord was crowned. The history of the Drunk Delegate is all the best parts not in the Bible. Jesus in his 20s visited Asia and encountered the Dread Pirate McKill-Joy the Drunk. He was hostile, uncleaned, and swimming with pirate diseases making it difficult for Jesus to determine if this was even a man. The Dread Pirate McKill-Joy the Drunk was on his last drink and was growing weak. His crew had died fighting cyclones in the Sea of Japan for giving them attitude and only the Dread Pirate Mckill-Joy the Drunk remained. Jesus, being a stand up guy, asked if there was anything he could do to comfort him in his last hours. He wanted to be saved and only alcohol could do it. Jesus ran through the market and traded for a skin of wine. The Dread Pirate McKill-Joy the Drunk pushed it away saying it wasn’t enough.
Jesus looked out at the sea and knew what he must do. He turned the sea into beer, the fish into peanuts, the plants into chicken wings, and even a whale into beef jerky. The Dread Pirate McKill-Joy the Drunk swam like a dolphin possessed by the fires of hell absorbing all the beery goodness. After finishing off the jerky whale he knew this man, Jesus, had been sent by the beer gods to save him. They became co-leaders and worked together to spread the message of the beer gods to all.
Lost in time until 2006 when I uttered the magic words, “Appa Kappa Dappa.” I was offending so lame-o Frat guys who wanted to know if Steve and I were pledges.
We host many events through the year, but the largest events are:
Halloween – The first Saturday after Halloween this way everyone already has a costume and is free to attend whatever Halloween functions they normally go to. It’s a massive party and we all usually have kick ass costumes.
Appa Kappa Dappa Day – Is the day we sacrifice to the Beer Gods. We can only drink beer, we can only listen to metal, and we can only watch porn. We also save our cardboard and construct beer armor to defend against the Nerf gun war. It’s a mess of a holiday and last time the beer Gods honored us by delivering to us a porno miracle. Everlasting proof of their love.
