More Netflix Punishment – Dawn (2003)

Nothing like this is in a movie

Back again with another review. If I’m going to watch them then you have to read it. It’s faster than watching it, but not nearly as enjoyable. Here is the plot to Dawn in a nut shell. Blade is a little girl who’s father is a human and is driving around the country feeding it blood, yup killing people. Mother was a vampire and died in childbirth. All this does it make me ask questions:

Why did the vampire get prego?

Why were this human and vampire sleeping together?

Why is the father feeding this monster?

So I’ve watched about 40 seconds of this film and I can already say I do not want to watch it. Digital hand cam quality with somebody’s little girl as the anchor of this shit craft out on it’s maiden voyage. She’s not even creepy just annoying. Plus it’s black and white so we’re never going to see any blood.

Why do hybrid vampire/human children always side with human? I mean isn’t being a vampire awesome?

The banter between the emotionless gays is tiring. It’s just two queens playing chess and nagging each other devoid of any emotion.

This little girl is the most polite vampire ever and only seems to kill the dying. She takes out some old guy who is in a lot of pain. Then she and her father bounce away to another state. She doesn’t even remember how many people she’s killed. She also has a lot of moral concerns for a 10 year old. I would have been totally stoked to be a vampire at 10.

How do they fund this little vampire food tour? Oh she robbed the old man.

The camera work isn’t bad it just needs better editing. I don’t need to watch there big ass car pull away for 20 fucking years. Oh shit she’s starting to get her blood lust…time to put her down. When a ten year old girl tells you she’s afraid of what she might do it’s time to hammer a 2×4 right through her chest with a shovel.

This movie just got a psychic who is tracking the vampire. A vampire also killed his sick mother. This movie is starting to make me sleepy, it’s like watching a high school play. It’s 31 minutes into the movie. Now a little boy is attaching her from trying to pass as a boy in a thrift store. He takes off her hat and she breaks his arm. WTF. Done. Watching this movie feels exactly like living in a small town.

Here is what Will thinks of the movie:

Will is not impressed

Drive in Stats

1 Vampire Chid

1 Fat Goth Chick

1 Dead Old Guy

1 Crappy psychic

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