Vacation Part One: San Francisco

Fuck yes San Fran

I arrived Friday and watched as Christy and Beth passed me outside the ticket area of San Francisco International Airport. We drove past Google and other landmarks along the 101. Went down Lombard street so I could have my San Fran street cred.  Coit Tower is pretty rad although I didn’t go inside. Also GTA was spot on when it came to the layout of the city.

View from Coit Tower

Christy and Beth in front of Coit Tower

We left and check into our room, which wasn’t that bad, to drop off the car so we didn’t have to drive any more. Driving though I saw a bunch of places I’ve only ever spoke to on the phone.


Lots of cool shops for the shopping. Then we went to a park and listened to a crazy man.  I love the cops in San Francisco because there are so many hipsters and hippies who feels it’s cool to hassle the man. The cops just take it and are the most laid back easy going cops I’ve ever seen. Some hippie got in a cops face with as other officers were trying to load a squad car with some box, “Out in full force today huh officer?” The cop just gave this full body sigh like it happens all the times and then calmly responded. CALMLY RESPONDED! You get your ass kicked Prince Georges County, Maryland just for talking to the cops. I hate to see what happens if you act like a dickhead to them.  In San Fran the cop simply acted like a store clerk when you ask, “Are there any in the back?”

After a ton of walking we ended up at a bar that had a lot going on. Granted the bars aren’t very big since you can drink in the parks, but man are the people fun to watch. There was a male to female transexual working on this woman for hours until she finally looked like she was going to go for it.

Christy and I walked back to our hotel and learned the meaning of pain because all those damn hills add up. We were like old people complaining about our legs and moving slowly. Simply add children of grandchildren and medicated creams and we would have been there.


We went to see Willy Wonka at the Castro led by an impassioned speech about film and why it needs to be preserved. It’s a classic theater in the grand old style and if I lived in San Fran I would try to live as close as possible because I would spend all my time there.

Then Beth took Christy and I on a semi-guided tour of the Castro. Then at a part we enjoyed some cookies and watched hipsters attack a Dora the explorer pinata. We also saw a woman on an awful trip and a man who just woke up in his grave. Tired from the massive hills and beer we went for burritos…it was epic. It was the best I have ever had and could go for one right now. Then we hung out on Beth’s room and went home.

Thanks to the American’s Best Value Inn’s HBO I got to see Treme. Angry John Goodman sold me and the honest story kept me going. To those that doubt some moments I will tell you for a fact that an old black man will kill your ass if you steal his tools.


After bottomless mimosas and an awesome breakfast walked more.

Christy and I went to the bay.

Then we met Beth at the beach which had caves and dudebras dude bra-ing it up.

We went to the bay and walked around. We did not drown.We said our goodbyes with Beth and were sad to see her go.


We longed for flat ground, but sad to go. The rainbow tunnels wish you wellTomorrow Part 2 – Road trip to Portland

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